What's Holding You Back? Discover 4 Proven Strategies to Overcome Obstacles and Live Your Best Life
- Dr. Ipshita Basu Guha
- Oct 21, 2023
- 7 min read
Photo by Vlada Karpovich on Pexels
Life will always come in the way
Meet Amy, a vivacious 40-year-old with vivid dreams of enriching her life. Yet, the responsibilities of daily life and a demanding career have often left her feeling trapped. As days go by the dreams seem more distant.
Out of Amy's reach.
Then there's Bert, a 50-something "adventurer at heart", who's put his dreams on hold for far too long. When he was in his 20s, he had grand ambitions of traveling the world, starting his own business, and living life on his terms.
However, as he entered his 30s and 40s, the need to pay bills, support his family, and climb the corporate ladder took precedence.
He found himself caught in the daily grind, working long hours, and saving for retirement, all while pushing his own aspirations to the backburner.
Amy and Bert represent those countless individuals in their 30s to 50s, each with untapped potential waiting to be unleashed.
Can you imagine if they don't take action, what will be their thoughts in the twilight years/ days of their lives?
Not too long ago, I was that Amy too.
After a lot of hits and misses, I have realized the only true obstacle between you and your best life is often your ability to conquer self-doubt and challenges.
Are you ready to embark on this exhilarating journey of self-discovery and success?
In your 30s, 40s, or 50s, it's never too late to ignite your dreams and start living your best life. Today, we're diving into 4 simple yet powerful strategies that can transform obstacles into stepping stones.
Are you ready to break free from the chains that have been holding you back?
#1. Welcome Fear as a Sign of Growth and Progress
Fear is debilitating. It's often irrational but has a severe hold on our actions.
Fear, although daunting, is often a precursor to growth.
What you should do is begin by - acknowledging your fears
Analyze them, dissect them, and understand their origin or probable cause as you venture into the unknown. Don't let fear paralyze you, let fear become your guide.
Fear signifies that you are stepping outside your comfort zone, where real transformations occur.
If you don't embrace fear, your dreams will remain unfulfilled. You will never come to know what could have been unless you step forward and push through that wall of fear.
How to tackle your fear?
Our minds often blow things out of proportion. A billion neurons buzzing with what could be, should be, would be. As though they are gazing through a crystal ball.
Journal your fears.
Download all the muddles of your brain onto paper.
Sort out all your thoughts. Analyze them objectively.
Imagine and write down the worst-case scenarios.
It will help you strategize how to mitigate them.
Example:
I am an introvert. Public speaking scares me like hell. The scrutiny and the ridicule is nerve-wracking.
I had 2 choices - either tackle the fear or continue living a non-descript life.
I took the first step by taking up nominal assignments to speak in a small group setting, around people whom I knew.
Gradually, my confidence improved and so did my oratory skills.
Today, I get speaking opportunities for a bigger, larger audience.
#2. Refine Your Mindset to Turn Setbacks into Stepping Stones
Setbacks are as common as sneezing. They can happen anytime, anywhere. Some people give up when they meet with a setback in their endeavor. It is up to your mindset how you perceive a setback.
It's not a roadblock, it is an indicator suggesting you need a change of plans to achieve your goal. That's all. They are stepping stones.
If you have a tendency to give up, you need to refine your mindset. Start viewing things differently. Viewing setbacks as valuable lessons. Reflect on the experience, and identify what went wrong and why. You will be presented with scope for improvement, to move toward your goal.
What have I done with setbacks?
I had that "grapes are sour" tendency. One setback and I could write a doomsday scenario. Then I came across someone who suffered a miscarriage and then went on to have a healthy child. 16 years ago I too suffered a miscarriage. Instead of resigning to the fact that I won't have a child ever, I accepted it as an opportunity.
What is a miscarriage, why does it occur, and what can be done to prevent it? I learned all that I possibly could and then adapted to this new information. Perspective matters. How you convert a challenge to a critical learning experience makes all the difference in outcome.
So use setbacks to learn, adapt, and evolve. Implement solutions.
Example:
People encounter setbacks in their careers, business ventures, marital life, health, and finances. A setback is nothing but a type of change you were not pre-empting or prepared for. Most people who bounce back are those who adapt to this change and use it for personal growth using the newfound knowledge. Some set their entrepreneurial venture, others work towards
improving their fitness, or taking financial literacy coaching to claw back.
#3. Nurture a Supportive Network of Mentors and Like-Minded Individuals
It's easy to get bogged down with life and challenges. To crawl back into a shell of desolation. When that occurs, what helps is if you have a sincere network of people who inspire, uplift, and challenge you. You don't need people to molly-
coddle you.
You need mentors (a mentor) to overcome the obstacles. You need like-minded individuals who have aspirations similar to yours.
Do you know why they have meetings at the Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)? Because the network is made up of people who have gone through or are going through challenges such as yours. They know where the shoe pinches. These individuals can share what works, and what doesn't, and do not make you feel weird as though you are the only one in the dumps. This network provides hope that you can overcome this whatever 'this' might be.
When should you seek a mentor or a supportive network?
The right time to fetch a bucket of water is not when the building is on fire. The best thing is to seek out a mentor from the beginning. Engage with them and be open to criticism, incisive comments, and learning.
When I began writing on Medium, it was quite lonely. Slowly, I signed up to be a writer in one publication and then another. The networks helped me not only improve my writing but also find an online community that's nurturing and safe.
Don't wait for too long. If you are the owner of a company, join your industry's association. If you are aspiring to be a writer, join a cohort. There is a community for everything under the sun.
Example:
Individuals aspiring to various careers, such as teaching, firefighting, or entrepreneurship, find mentorship and support from experienced professionals. Sharing knowledge and experiences becomes a cornerstone for mutual growth.
You get to share your work and receive feedback and much-needed encouragement to stay on track.
#4. Practice Resilience: Bounce Back Stronger After Every Adversity
When I first heard the term 'Practice Resilience', I scoffed at the idea. Sounds Zen-like but feels too abstract. Life has taught me how to practice resilience when often in the face of adversity, I was left with no choice but to cope. In due course, I came up with the mechanism to find wins in losses.
If something didn't work out, I didn't want to remain empty-handed. I sought to take away something from the experience.
It meant that I had to approach adversity with a positive outlook. You know how scavengers sift through scrap to find something worthwhile for their effort?
What you need are coping mechanisms to overcome adversity. Get up and dust yourself before again moving ahead.
Resilience comes from our inner determination to only give up when we die not otherwise.
Which is the best way to practice resilience?
A healthy body and healthy mind. These are the prerequisites. When you are mentally and physically strong, and sharp - you can conquer any adversity.
Three things worth doing - exercising (any form), meditation (for any duration starting from 1 minute), or journaling which for me is also a form of exercise and meditation.
Don't believe what I am saying. Practice it and see for yourself whether it works or not.
Example:
Someone I know closely lost their job. Let's name the person Q. It was a sudden, immediate. For someone who has one job as their source of income, being laid off can be horrible. A feeling that's compounded if the person has a family as
dependents.
Q went on a short vacation. Moved past the feeling of denial. Assessed their situation with pragmatism. Things were not falling apart and Q had time to regroup. Without wasting days trying to blame everything, Q went on WhatsApp and tapped everyone possible - friends and acquaintances. Informed about the job loss, and bluntly asked for help.
The period of job search, interviews, and informal meets began. Throughout this entire period, Q socialized, exercised, and went about the day with a silent determination that this was an interlude and soon it would be back to work. Q secured a similar job in less than two months' time.
The idea is not to give up but to keep trying and tapping all possible avenues. Breakthrough is just a matter of time.
Central Idea for You
The majority of human beings are resilient, capable, and even resourceful when the need arises. When their backs are against the wall. Your situation doesn't need to be dire before you work on your resilience.
Practicing the 4 lessons of this post will make you indomitable in the face of adversity, challenges, and tempests.
Reinforcing the 4 points:
Welcome Fear as a Sign of Growth and Progress
Refine Your Mindset to Turn Setbacks into Stepping Stones
Nurture a Supportive Network of Mentors and Like-Minded Individuals
Practice Resilience: Bounce Back Stronger After Every Adversity
Life gives us enough opportunities to grow and thrive. It is up to us whether to make the best out of those choices.
You are stronger than you think. All you need is unwavering determination to overcome any obstacle and surge forward into a future of boundless possibilities.
So what will you begin working on today?
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